The wedding
by BitterSweet-SweetlyBitter
Summary: The world of BitterSweetSweetlyBitter is having a wedding. Lemons possible yaoi. More of the doctor crew with Yu Yu Hakusho, Inuyasha, and Gundam Wing. Quatre x Trowa, Kurama X a slutty ghost, Hiei X San., Botan x slutty ghost, Yusuke x Kag.
1. Chapter 1

_I've loved you...all this time, I was the only one who always stuck by you. The one who always stayed with you no matter how bad it got...and all I asked, all I ever wanted in return, was for you to love me even a small amount in comparison to how much I love you. _

Kagome blinked back her tears frantically, but they refused to be pushed back any longer.

_She tried to kill you! She's been trying to hurt us ever since she was resurrected and you still..._

Twice now.

Twice she had had to put up with the overwhelming anguish at seeing him kiss Kikyo.

But oh...Oh, God, it was so much worse than before.

Inuyasha's beautiful face had only pulled away from Kikyo's moments ago. His fingers pushing aside her long, black hair which so agonizingly resembled Kagome's own, and his lips...which she had tasted but once so long ago had uttered those words.

"There is no one else for me, Kikyo. I love you and only you."

Like the precious Shikon jewel that had bound them together, her heart had shattered.

"Fine...I'm done."

Tossing down the locket which they shared into the cold, disgusting mud below, she stormed away, leaving him to kiss his dead chick.

"I don't care. I got Kouga, and at least ten million other guys that hit on me everyday. Good bye, dog boy. Hope she sucks your soul right out of your lips."

The second Sango saw her, her boomerang fell limply to the ground. "Oh, Kagome-..."

Miroku frowned ,for once silencing his dirty little monk thoughts, "I'm guessing finding Inuyasha did not go so well."

"Shut up, godamn pervert, monk little, ponytail wearing, can't keep it in his pants, son of a-"

The demon slayer had to throw a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing as Miroku defensively tugged on his ponytail.

" I think she needs to go home." said Miroku in a tiny voice.

" No fucking shit, Sherlock!"

Before any of them could blink: a demon slayer, a cat demon, a fox demon and an extremely pissed off priestess all went flying down a well back into the present.

The monk, however, was smart enough to hide behind a tree.

"Godamn to the fuckingest of Hells!"

Soren smiled as though he were drugged, "Isn't she beautiful..." His green eyes twinkled happily as he listened to his fiance' storm about in a torrent of angry shadows, weaponry, syringes and lord knows what else. Sighing happily, he brushed his long, black as night hair from his eyes and went obediently back to folding clothes.

Aubrey, her white haired, gothic, British assistant raised one pierced eyebrow and blocked a flying tea cup with his clipboard, "Oh, my yes. She should be in "When Grizzly Bears attack," she's so radiant."

Next to him, a small girl with compassionate red eyes and foam green hair nervously took down notes, "That's not very nice to say about the master."

"Ooh, that gives me chills every time I hear the word!"

The engaged man shook his head sternly but couldn't help but smile as the blue haired, bisexual poltergeist twins, Gabrie and Sabrie, floated out of a wall.

"How's my master doing?"

They giggled immaturely, "Ooooh, Soren has a master, Gabrie."

"We both know Surrian is good at it too," his brother yelled, holding up a stolen bit of panties.

Instantly, Soren had him by the cuff of the shirt, red faced and holding Surrian's panties as though they would bite him, "That's highly inappropriate you two."

"Vat are you doing with those!"

Mouth falling open, poor Soren whirled around and saw his fiance with her hands on her hips, giving him a look.

"Ohhh..."

Gabrie and Sabrie burst into laughter, falling to the floor and giggling hysterically while Soren just stood there, face as red as a stop light.

"Er...I didn't, I mean I would never, I mean I could, but I wouldn't!"

Surrian's pale lips slowly turned up into a patronizing smirk, "Hm, I never saw you as being a little pervert, my dear. Do tell me, what sort of fantasies can you be living out with those?"

Aubrey went red in the face from struggling not to laugh. He knew just as well as any of them (but the bride herself) that Soren was as much of a pervert as Aubrey was polite.

She laughed, strode her little cocky walk over to him and snatched her panties away. Waving them in his face, she chuckled, "Careful. Your face will stay red if you keep it that way."

He swept a hand through his hair, mumbling, "S-Someone is going to be arriving soon. I-I shall go prepare for their arrival."

Bowing, he took Surrian's hand and gave it an affectionate kiss. "Excuse me, my love."

With that, he hurried off, muttering something about perverts and exorcisms.

Both the twins gasped, "You wouldn't dare!"

As the poor, embarrassed man hurried by, he halted long enough to pause by one of the large archways to Surrian's home on the Isle of crimson shadows; her home.

Stumbling a bit, he blushed and bowed again, "Excuse my rudeness, Genkai. Can I get you anything at all?"

Genkai looked up politely from her tea, "No, dear boy. If I may offer my advice, try not to overwork yourself. Someone has to keep those ghosts from molesting people."

Soren's mouth dropped open for a second, "Oh, um...er..."

"Weren't you going to go answer the door than return to your fiance' for some intimacy," she cackled lightly.

"Oh, dear God," he exclaimed, rushing off. He hated it when people mocked him loving his master so much.

A knock came at their mansion right as he placed his shaking hand on the knob.

"Open up, godamnit!"

"Yes! Open up before she kills us!"

Blinking, he tugged the door open with a loud creak. "Ah. Kagome, Sango, Shippo and Kilala. Pleasure to see you all again. Please, c'mon."

Kagome stormed in, "Shut up, Soren."

Sango hurried in after her, apologizing over and over to Soren who just stood there while Kagome beat up on him.

Shippo bounced past them, sniffing out his Nani.

"I'm so sorry, she's really mad, she doesn't mean it, I'm really sorry, sir. Kagome, please-" Sango continued, trying to calm the raging priestess.

Soren just blinked again as two tiny fists beat on his broad chest, "Ah, it's quite alright."

Please, just don't kick below the belt, he prayed, crossing his fingers behind his back.

He stepped aside with his modest, shameful bow and let her rage right on into Vaughn manor.

Sango apologized again than ran off after her.

"It's quite alright," he called calmly, "I'm used to it."

Whilst he was about to shut the door, a random demon decided to pop in, griping his head off and screaming for Genkai to get her wrinkled ass out there.

Soren blinked as Yusuke sniffed the air; obviously in his demon form. He sniffed at him for a moment, furrowed his brow, "What the Hell are you," the angered, white haired demon boy growled.

"I'd tell you if I knew."

Still grumbling, the demon tore off, tearing up random things about the house. Even in the blink of an eye, a red haired man with sage green eyes followed, "I am very sorry. He's upset, and weary and a bit hysterical and his girlfriend dumped him...I really don't mean to impose on your wedding plans, really."

"No, no, it's fine," he protested with a weak smile, "as long as you have the nerve to meet the bride of course."

At first, Kurama seemed a bit taken aback. Of course, until he heard a machine gun go off somewhere on the third floor and two little twins screaming.

"Ah! Ms. Surrian is betrothed! Delightful, congratulate Aubrey for me."

Soren flinched, "Actually...shockingly, I am the groom."

"Oh, really," Kurama said seeming blank, "delightful."

With that, he took off to deal with Yusuke who had seemed to have found Genkai by the low mutter of "Dimwit."

"...Well...everyone seems ecstatic to see me and her together and yet no one seems to thrilled about Yukina and A-..."

A scream interrupted his thoughts as a blue haired woman and a boy screaming in a high pitched voice crashed through the window; an oar skidded a few feet from their tangled positions.

"Sorry, sorry! My landings are awful," Botan called apologetically, "have you seen my detective!"

The young man whimpered a long chain of British obscenities, brown eyes rolling wildly while he was dazed, "Crazy Grim reaper, fly safely my ass..."

Aden stood, brushed glass from his black T shirt and smiled shyly, "Er...sorry about the window." A young man; Aden was a bronze skinned, brown eyed, white haired boy with a shy demeanor. He was Aubrey's little brother, all the way from jolly old England.

"Never you mind it," Soren said gently, "I'll just take it from Aubrey's pay."

"Like Hell you will," someone yelled from the third floor angrily.

"Brother," Aden yelled, bounding off to go see him. Helping Botan up, Soren was left to himself and his melancholy thoughts yet again as she ran off to find Yusuke.

"Nervous," a Russian voice purred in his ear.

Soren smiled sadly, slipping his hands into the pockets of his loose pants to slip on his gloves. "No, never."

Turning him to her, Surrian gave him one of her rare, gentle smiles. "I do love you, despite what you think others are thinking."

Pulling her into his arms, he gently touched her beautiful face with his slender fingers, "I love you too. Surrian, t-thank you..."

"Thank you," she whispered in confusion, "for what?"

"F-For...for staying with me. For loving me as the person I am. For choosing me..."

"Oh, stop. You're getting all sappy."

"I love you," he whispered, wishing so badly he could touch his lips to hers.

They embraced tightly. Surrian had learned long ago that a kiss could not be shared until their wedding day; it made the sexual and emotional tension between them near impossible to resist.

It would have been a really sweet moment if not something had blown up nearby with an enormous bang.

Surrian's eye twitched, "DAMN TEENAGERS!"

Grabbing a cane, she ran off at top speed, shouting in Russian obscenities out the yin yang.

Soren reached for her, aching. Than sighed, "Hold on, my dear. I'll be there to help in a second."

Snapping his fingers he whistled, "Cerberus."

A small, three headed dog loped it's way into the room, stretched and stared up at him. The full dog itself was a Siberian husky with flamed tipped tails and red eyes.

He gave it a pat and Cerberus gave a small growl of affection and jumped up into his arms.

Shouting erupted from the ballroom, as did various smacking sounds and a few people running and laughing.

Carrying Cerberus, he quickly made his way to his fiance' and the rest of the demented household.

It was not a pretty sight.

Apparently, a vicious fire demon had blown up part of the smaller dress rooms for the ballroom. The demon, Hiei, was not too happy about finding his sister in this particular setting standing close to a particular jackass of a British angel.

"You're touching my sister!"

"No I'm not! You can't prove craaaaaaaaaaaaaapppp!" Aubrey ducked behind his clipboard than ran off screaming his head off as fireballs erupted behind him.

Yukina just shook her head and nervously jotted down notes, "Oh my, oh my..."

Surrian had Kurama down on the ground, had him straddled and was holding a cane over his poor throat, "Vat did you do!"

"It wasn't me!"

"LIES!"

"It wasn't my fault," he yelled, "it was Hiei's fault!"

Hiei roared at him, "Why you little-! I didn't do ANYTHING!"

The Russian jumped off Kurama, muttered an apology or two and gave him a lollipop, than grabbed Hiei and pulled him to the ground in a body slam.

"Hiei, my dear. I love you to death but I don't like people blowing up my house...unless it's me!"

"B-But, A-Aubrey made me do it! He t-t-t-ouched my sister," he wailed, shrinking and clinging to her front like a desperate child.

From somewhere behind Yukina, Aubrey yelled, "He's lying! I didn't do a thing!"

He tackled Surrian from the back and wailed too, shrinking to the infamous chibi form. "I didn't do anythiiiiiiiiiiing!"

She was about to reply but the twins came running out of the hallway (what was left of it) screaming their heads off, "SHE'S GONNA EAT ME!"

Kagome came tearing after then, waving a fork threateningly, "COME BACK HERE!"

They halted, than turned around in their chibi forms, "Ok, you can eat me. I won't struggle."

Letting out a roar, she tossed the fork at them like a ninja star.

Both squealed and made a perverted suicide leap; one down Botan's shirt, the other down Kurama's shirt.

"Don't let her eat us- Ooooh...nice body, me likey."

Gabrie heard his brother squeal, "Mwee! I love boobies!"

"Fine! You can have blondes, but I call red heads!"

"Wait, wait! Who gets the black haired people!"

"NOOOO! The indecisiveness is murder! There are only two of us! WHY COULD THERE NOT BE A THIRD!"

"Because there would be no God if there was," Soren mumbled, setting Cerberus to the ground.

Surrian grumbled, pried Aubrey and Hiei off with a lot of difficulty, "Don't you put me through this! You all know I hate kids! STOP SMILING AT ME, YOU KNOW I DO!"

Random smiles went about the room cause they all knew she was lying.

Shippo gave her a sad, teary look, "Y-You don't like me?"

Looking down, she went gray haired for a moment, "NOOOO! DAMN THE LOOK, DAMN KIDS! AGH!"

The Rostov ripper fell flat on her back, leg twitching as; a fox demon, a chibi form of Kurama, chibi Gabrie, chibi Sabrie, Kilala, and Cerberus all piled on and around her lovingly.

Hiei twitched, "Clear a space! I wanna get in there!"

Immediately, there was a space.

Soren smiled affectionately at her, even though she was twitching violently, muttering and gray haired for the time being. "Surrian, someday, when we have kids..."

"DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT MAKING ME PREGNANT!"

She went on a bitch rant about how she was NOT going to be throwing up for nine months, PMS for more than a week any time of her life and have a baby pop out of her like a damned coconut.

Before any of them could laugh, Genkai came striding easily into the room holding one immensely pissed off demon by the ear, "Shut up, dimwit."

"Godamn, crazy old bitch," he roared, struggling to break away from the tiny woman holding him so easily in place.

"Surrian," she said easily, "we should get to planning your wedding, would you not say."

"IF EVERYONE WOULD GET OFF OF ME THAT WOULD BE LOVELY!"

Everyone just laughed and cuddled closer.

"Crap...ok, looks like we're having a wedding on our backs."

Gabrie and Sabrie both giggled, "Ooh, Las Vegas wedding!"

Genkai shook her head, tugged Yusuke down maliciously and gave him a dirty look, "You will take part of this wedding, whether you like it or not."

"WELL I EXTREMELY DISLIKE IT!"

Shaking her head, Genkai dropped him to the ground a bit roughly. "Ignore the dimwit. We need to get started on this wedding.

Kagome stormed over to one of the couches that wasn't in flames, sat down with a huff and folded her arms, "Can we just plan it already?"

Before anyone could answer, she grunted, "I'm opening up the bar."

Yusuke pumped his fist up in the air enthusiastically, "Drinks all around!"

He got a smack from Genkai and than they were both seated, waiting patiently for Surrian to pry the others off and throw them into chairs.

Smoothing her hair down until it turned black, Surrian mumbled a lot of random crap under her breath than calmed as Soren laid an arm around her shoulders.

Sango bustled in, looked about and sat without a single word.

"We're not hoping to make this wedding a big deal," Soren told them all softly, "but I can see that that is not going to happen."

Everyone gave him a sheepish smile.

Surrian shook her head, "Well, since you're all here I get to use you for cheap slave labor."

She cackled maniacally, trying to scare them. They all had to laugh though, and ruin her fun.

"Godamn, fucking shit..."

Her fiance's smile broadened. "You're all our family. So, please. We don't want to trouble you with any of the preparations."

"Like Hell," Sango cried, "Surrian, I am helping you pick out a gown!"

"I'll do your hair," Botan cried, bouncing on the couch excitedly with Sabrie's head poking out from her cleavage.


	2. Chapter 2

"Can I be the flower girl," Anita asked in her quiet, sweet little voice.

Surrian picked Anita up, stroking the child's long, blonde curls. "Of course you can, my dear."

Genkai huffed, "I'm walking you down the aisle, like it or not Rostov."

Kilala rubbed her head up and down Surrian's leg, purring.

"It looks as though Kilala wants to carry you in," Sango laughed.

Turning her head, Surrian muttered to her Soren, "Had to get the kids involved, didn't you?"

He gave her a kiss on her hair and smiled, "Let them help. They are dearest ones you know."

"I call dibs on helping you pick out a tuxedo!"

Everyone turned and gave a completely awed look to Hiei, who was still waving his hand frequently in the air.

Yusuke snorted, "I'll help get rid of the booze."

SMACK

"What! I'm not wearing a damn tux!"

"Actually...Soren won't be wearing a tux," Surrian said, still awed the little fire demon from Hell had just called dibs on something, "he's going to be wearing his God of War armor."

Raising an eyebrow, he gave her a look, "I...am?"

Chuckling, she leaned forward and whispered, "Trust me, you look so drop dead sexy in I may have to tackle you at the alter."

His eyebrow twitched uncontrollably. All he could mumble was, "Oh...oh, dear..."

"I'm not wearing a tux if the groom isn't!"

"YES YOU ARE," Genkai roared, tackling him over the back of the couch.

Surrian giggled immaturely, "Wear the horns. You know I love the horns."

When she giggled in his ear he passed out.

"Oh my God, you killed the groom!"

"No, I didn't," she muttered poking him with her cane, "he's still twitching."

"Now that's love," Sango laughed.

Kurama cleared his throat and everyone looked at him, "Ms. Surrian, what apparel would you care to see me in?"

Tossing back her head she cackled literally, "Nothing!"

Everyone did an anime fall.

He smiled politely, "As you wish."

Her eyebrow bugged out of her forehead almost, "Take it easy, fox boy."

Gabrie popped up from his pocket (to which no one was sure how he had gotten to) "NOOOO! MAKE HIM WEAR NOTHING! MAKE HIM DO LAP DANCES OR SLOW STRIP!"

The red head quirked his eyebrow at Gabrie, "Feisty little thing, aren't you," as he gently flicked him from his pocket.

As he was flying, Gabrie yelled, "I'll die happy!...Wait, I am dead...I CAN RE-DIE HAPPY!"

Surrian shook her head slowly, "Eh, anyways. We'll let Hiei pick out a tuxedos, and I already have a wedding planner on the way."

"OH NO HE DIDN'T! COME BACK HERE, BITCH!"

"And there he is," she chuckled, "Neth, dear?"

A stocky young man came waltzing in, spiky blonde hair up wildly and one good blue eye twinkling. "Hi Soren, are you still getting married to that really dumb blonde chick with the gigantic b-..."

The second he saw Surrian he screamed his head off, turned to run and ran head long into a wall.

"And that would be our wedding planner," Surrian said, now having two men on the ground twitching uncontrollably.

"We're all gonna die," Sango muttered, shaking her head.

"I think the boy fears you," Kurama said lightly, batting Gabrie off every time he jumped at him.

She prodded him with her boot and he immediately screamed, "EVVVVVVVVVVVVVILLLLLLLLLL!"

"Love you too, sweetheart."

He gave her a terrified look, stood, tried to run and hit the wall again. "Why are you here! Is the bride gonna die the second she steps off the alter our something."

Grabbing a random Bible, he whacked her upside the head in time for Soren to wake up.

"Neth, no," he yelled, "Surrian is my fiance'!"

The look he gave him was completely dumfounded. "B-But..."

Turning around, he tried to do the one thing that would more or less make his head implode if he did too much..

"Um, Soren + Surrian ?. Er, Shadows + War + um...Damnit! Soren + Surrian + war + insanity ?"

"Give him some time," Ghost whispered to them as she floated by, "it'll take him awhile."

"Wait, hold on. Soren + Surrian - Sarah ...Hold on, how does pimps go into the equation!"

Soren ran to his bride, nuzzling her wound tenderly, "I'm so sorry, are you alright my love? "

Surrian gazed about wildly, eyes spinning, "Yes, I'll have the mocha latte..."

Kagome laughed nastily from the bar, "Yeah? And I'll have a white Russian!"

"Can you stand," Soren asked quietly, giving her a look of deep concern.

"_Da_, _da_, I'm fine."

The second he let go she fell flat on her face.

Aden stumbled down the stairs, smiling happily as Aubrey dragged him.

"Get off!"

"I missed you so much, brother," he cried, latched on to Aubrey's arm.

"And we have our priest," he yelled down, struggling to get away. Yukina followed after him, still scratching down notes like crazy. "Oh, dear. Oh' my..."

Something muffled came from the twitching Russian on the floor.

Soren bent, picked her up and asked, "What was that love?"

"I think I broke my damn nose!"

Aubrey pointed and burst into hysterical laughter while Aden's hair got grays among the whites, "HOLD ON MS. SURRIAN! PRIEST ON THE WAY!"

He spring leaped off of his brothers head, over the stairwell, barreled past the little elf pirate still doing algebra and scratching his head and tackled her and Soren both.

"Don't touch me, I'm holy!"

Surrian twitched violently as he put his hands over her nose, mumbled something.

And, as simple as that, her nose was now pierced. "WHAT IN THE EIGHT CIRCLES OF HELL!"

Aubrey fell down the stairs he was laughing so hard. Yukina squealed and followed, making little note drawings to go with it.

The Russian shoved the priest off of her, muttering, "Godamn, that's bullshit..."

Her fiance' gave her a funny look; almost guilty.

She gave him a nasty look in return, "You're getting off on this, aren't you?"

Instantly, his hands were up like a shield, "I swear I'm not!"

"Godamn you Soren and your past history with pierced, tattooed demon concubines!"

" HELLO ! Can we plan the wedding now?" ask an impatient Botan as she stoked the head sticking out from her cleavage.

" Perrrrrrr, perrrrr" sang the little body of Sabrie.

After seven hours and forty two minuets of pain staking planning.

"So what about this one?" asked Sango as she opened the last wedding book.

" Alright that one is sexified." was the brides answer.

They had decided on a shimmering black gown, tied at the waist by a soft, almost auburn brown ribbon that kept the ruffled, layered waves of the skirts held in place perfectly for the bride's maids.

For Genkai, the passer, a midnight purple, Medieval habit including the silky jacket and the long, delicately patterned design.

Anita had a black dress with a tiny explosion of firework embroidery at the side of the waist. Near the end, a slit opened revealing a filmy white underskirt.

As for the bride, a gentle, ruffled white gown, short in the front and quite long in the back. On Surrian, the ruffles cam to about her knees in the front and the back was left in a long train. Of course, she had to have her top hat so she would make it white for the occasion and pin a black rose on it.

Kurama and another man would be growing the floral arrangements for her wedding. In fact, he should have been there already.

"Sango, have you seen-"

The door opened and shut quietly, "Good evening, everyone."

"Wee, Seth is here, Seth is here," the twins called, cuddling whichever intimate body they were close too.

"Calm yourself, ghost," Kurama said, shaking his head as he tried to pry Gabrie from his chest.

"Never!"

A tall, red haired man swept elegantly into the dark room. He was dark, he was mysterious and drop dead gorgeous with two emotionless green eyes that could give a person chills of delight by looking at them.

Beside him was a small, beautiful woman. White skinned, long, black hair and two compassionate honey golden eyes.

"Congratulations, on your betrothal," he purred, nodding his head lightly to Surrian.

Cyreina ran up and hugged her, "Oh, my yes. We were so delighted when we heard."

"Pardon me for a moment, "Seth whispered. He reached up underneath his top hat and unpinned his long, almost waist length hair

Meanwhile, somewhere inside Kurama, a very pissed off Youko was getting a bit pissy with his half brother.

"You bring me here and surround me with; a hot British guy, a dead sexy Russian psychopathic bondage queen, a cute, short innocent little raven hair, an innocent British priest, a really shy and polite groom, not to mention fucking twins! Now you're making me sit here and be quiet while some sexy red head undoes his hair and purrs at me!"

Kurama frowned, " I know your bi, but please. Try to restrain your sexual appetite!"

Seth swept over and gave him a slow, eerie smirk, "It would seem you and I are partners on the floral arrangements."

Youko howled inside of him, "I'm gonna tackle him!"

"No, you will not!"

That decision almost got contradicted as Seth bent and shook his hand. Cyreina followed, leaned down and gave him a long hug, "Pleasure to meet you."

"Yes, yes, lovely to meet you," he mumbled, pushing her back with a pained smile.

"Oh, bloody Hell," Seth griped, "my damn back."

Upon the confused looks, Cyreina smiled and said, "He has a bad back. Hold on sweetie, I'll give you a massage."

Hiei snorted with laughter.

Cyreina set her husband down on the floor and unbuttoned his shirt for him.

"NOOOO! HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO BE THAT SEXY," Youko yelled, crashing into the walls of Kurama's mind like crazy.

In the candlelight of the chandelier above, Seth's muscular body rippled with a fascinating display of shadows and light as Cyreina moved behind him.

"My poor baby," she cooed, "I wish I had some lotion to help it feel better."

Kurama twitched as he watched her massage Seth gently. Of course, it didn't help when she moved to his front, straddled her husband and rubbed his shoulders.

A sultry look came over the ring master's face as he leaned forward and plunged his fangs into her delicate throat.

"I...believe I need to leave for awhile," Kurama shakily mumbled as Seth's hands went to his wife's dress.

It was the last thing he needed to see the two of them getting frisky.

"It was heavenly meeting you," Cyreina called politely.

"Heavenly, indeed," Seth added, somehow managing to tear his fangs from his wife.

Youko beat his fists on the walls confining him, "YOU SUCK!"

As he moved his position he noted Surrian and Sango still configuring for her wedding dress.

"Ok, Surrian. I'll need your bust size. Here."

"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," Youko howled as he watched Sango cup Surrian's chest.

"Ok, what size am I," the Russian purred, flipping through a bride's magazine.

"Ooh, I'd say you'd be about a 42 DD."

Kurama let out a small squeaking noise as Youko went running about in circles, screaming with lust.

"Where is my sister, by the way?"

Sango bent down to get a book, "She went up to change."

"Alright," Surrian said easily.

"Can you lower your shirt down for a second? I need some other measurements."

Kurama took off screaming before he could catch a glimpse of the bondage queen's chest.

Youko stomped his foot angrily, "Go back! Go back you son of a bitch!"

Shaking his head, he quickly went down the hall and flopped down on the couch.

Unfortunately, he didn't notice Soren was asleep there and ended up right up in his lap.

A hot blush crossed over Kurama's face as Soren's eyes fluttered open, "Hm?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't notice you sleeping there, I'm really sorry, I'm really, really sorry!"

"Ooh, he's a big one. Tackle him, quickly! You have him cornered, just tackle him!"

"BUT HE'S THE GROOM!"

"SO? HE'S SEXY AND BIG AND INNOCENT! SURRIAN WILL UNDERSTAND, NOW JUST TACKLE HIM!"

Soren stretched under him, yawning, "It's ok. Easy enough mistake to make."

Standing, he apologized again and again than ran off. "I need to get out of this house. This house is nothing but an orgy trap!"

Youko grunted and folded his arms, "Godamn, this is bullshit. Surrounded by the worlds' sexiest people and you won't even...grr!"

"You don't even know which one of them you want to take," Kurama yelled angrily.

"...One?"

"First I'm going to eat the bride, screw the groom, Devour the brides maids, fuck the made of honor, Rope the ring master wile I play with his little Russian, bone the twins. And if I have my way fuck Hiei in tell the house burns down and maybe the detective. Did I miss anyone?...Oh no I forgot the Brits.."

"OH HELL NO YOU ARE NOT COMING OUT!"

Kagome just happened to walk past in her bartender outfit that consisted of a black halter top that tied in the back. And a skirt that went to her thighs in the front and to her knees in the back.

"And now for a cold shower," he called, striding off while trying to drown out the insistent lust demon in his mind.

As Kagome entered the counter behind the bar, Surrian slid up on the counter and winked at her, "Soo...not telling me something?"

" Its nothing. SANGO your orders up."

"I'm not your big sister because I have bigger boobs you know."

"Yeah, well...I'll bet you paid for those monsters anyways," Kagome snapped, hurriedly mixing drinks.

Surrian cackled wickedly, "Oh, no. They were a milk and chicken breast diet installation, my dear."

"Well excuse me. I have work to do right now so..."

"Where is that doggie slave of yours?"

Kagome's eye twitched, "He's off with some godamn, dead, cold ass bitch, fucking made of clay, boning nothing but a bunch of dead chick's ashes, mother-"

The white Russian chuckled as her younger sister went on a binge rant until finally she nailed Neth in the head with a bottle of whiskey, screamed, than burst into tears.

Opening her arms, Surrian nuzzled Kagome as she hugged her and sobbed. "I-I just h-hate him so much!"

"Aww, sweetie."

Tilting Kagome's chin up, Surrian gave her a demented smile, "You forget, my kin, who your sister is."

The fact that her sister was a complete psycho loaded with an arsenal of highly powered, sugar driven bio weapons was slightly comforting.

"It's ok, dear. I'll skin him alive and make a comforter for you."

"You mean I can sleep on a dead Inuyasha," she asked, sniffling.

"_Da_, of course. I'll chop him up into little bits, flay his flesh and make a drum from it for a rock star, than turn his girlfriend into a bong to hold the rock star's pot."

Kagome smiled, "Thanks, Rostov. Can I help?"

"I'll let you sharpen my blades," her sister cackled, popping one of her mechanisms from her back and waving it comically.

"Kagome!"

As if irony could not be more of a bitch, in to the manor of crimson shadows stormed one dog boy and his dead girlfriend.

"What do you want," she yelled, shoving Surrian off the counter so she could see him.

Anger like nothing else filled her. Oh, she wanted Surrian to hurt him. She wanted to hurt him herself and burn Kikyo alive, while laughing hysterically at her cries of pain.

"Ohhh," the Rostov ripper said lightly as she stood, "so this is the doggie slave?"

One could almost say the room grew both darker and colder.

"That's right, bitch," he growled, "and I'm here to take Kagome back."

Soren stood, but with her snake like hypnosis, Surrian made him sit back down and watch helplessly as she encircled Kikyo with one arm.

"Allo, clay girl," she chuckled, giving her a shark like smile.

Kikyo remained silent, eyes on Inuyasha as he stormed to the bar.

"I need you to help me find the shards, so like it or not you're coming back."

Kagome gave him a nasty look, "Over your dead, stretched over a drum body, mutt."

He made to grab her but in the split second that the thought was executed, a rather tight grip shot from the shadows and latched on to his wrist.


	3. Chapter 3

Yusuke mimicked Surrian's smile, "You don't touch a lady. Not on my watch."

On his other side, Youko (having won the war of the showers) grabbed his other wrist with his extremely long nails, "Oh, my yes. Ladies need to be treated with dignity."

Hiei made a smooth landing on the counter in front of him, blocking Kagome from view. "Because if you treat a lady badly..."

Deep cackling filled the room; like the dry, dead whispering of autumn itself.

"The big, bad Rostov ripper will come to get you," Surrian whispered, eye's morphing into a sick, blood red.

"Or perhaps you'll meet the demons that haunt you," Yusuke said lightly.

"Or the animals that could tear you limb from limb," Youko added, lightly stroking the head of a somewhat more wild and rabies infested Cerberus.

"And sometimes, when you aren't careful, the fire will sneak up on you and burn you to a tiny, insignificant crisp," Hiei finished, hand on the hilt of his infamous sword.

"But trust me, Inuyasha. Any of us would be a lot more merciful than _her_."

He shouldn't have looked. He shouldn't have turned, he shouldn't have even questioned what she was, what was lurking beneath the shadows.

You don't look at fear. You don't stare into the eyes of insanity, it's something that is the ultimate suicides among other things.

Everyone else looked away.

Surrian, or...as they called her as her human name, cupped his face with her long, cold hands.

Into the boundless pits of Hell he looked as her hair flared up like ravenous ink into the air around them. Waves of cold poured off of her as every window in the house shattered.

"I found you," she purred in a twisted manner as the gates to Malebolge opened beneath him.

"And now that the Rostov ripper has you, you are going to a very, very scary place."

"Kagome, call off your psycho bitch," he yelled, kicking his legs against the skeletons rising up to take him.

Kikyo tried to reach him but Ghost materialized in front of her, "Touch them and I'll snap your neck like a twig."

Of course, arrows were reached for but Ghost only laughed as the points slipped right through her and landed purposelessly on the floor.

"I'm going to dissect you like a pig," Surrian rasped, "cut you up and rebuild you, than cut you again until your pretty little self is no more than a scar."

Kagome was tempted to let her family massacre the two of them...but that wasn't who she was.

"It's ok, Surrian," she called blankly, "let them live, it's fine."

"Alright than," her sister said, dropping the dog flat on his ass, "who wants pie!"

Hiei stomped his foot, "But I wanna kill him!"

"Later, Hiei," the Russian muttered as she passed by, "get him while he sleeps."

Kagome frowned, "Surrian..."

"Sorry, sorry!"

The little Russian bustled off, mumbling something about de-poisoning a pie.

Soren frowned and went to go after her, worried an attempted assassination might occur were he not careful to watch his somewhat murderous bride.

"It'd be lovely if you were to stay for the wedding, "he added to Inuyasha and Kikyo as he hurried by.

Ghost stomped her boot, "No, they can not!"

"Shut up," Neth whined, "I'm trying to watch Maury."

"NO THEY CANNOT STAY," Kagome yelled as her sister came by, carrying a pie with a pair of tongs.

Course, the pie had teeth, literally, and appeared to have already taken a bite out of her.

"Just for that, we're staying," Inuyasha yelled, stepping ten feet to the left as Surrian walked by him.

Kikyo eyed Ghost nervously, "But I don't think-..."

"We're staying!"

Kagome stomped her foot angrily, "Fine!"

"Fine," he yelled back.

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"SHUT UP, I'M MISSING MAURY!" Neth immediately got smacked upside the head.

Grumbling, Kagome turned her back on him and went back to fixing drinks so fast it looked like her hands were flying.

"god fucking shit eating flee infested pot sniffing necrophilia loving fluffy eared haven goddamn sword guzzling mutt..." Kagome mumbled as she mixed the drinks.

"Hey, Kagome." Yusuke said as he came up to the bar.

"Ya, ya order your drink and get the fuck away from me."

"How about you get your ass over here and come dance with me."

"I'm kinda working Romeo."

"Get a way from her" Inuyasha growled.

"You know id love to dance with you Yusuke. Surrian can you take over for me?"

"Vie not?" Was her answer.

No one had time to say a word before Yusuke reached over and picked Kagome up and over the bar before sliding her down his body to stand flush against his own. He then leaned down and nipped her on the right side the nape of her neck wile running his demon nails up her sides and back down to rest on her hips.

"I said I'd dance with you, not sleep with you."

"We'll see." came his laughing reply as he slid behind her to lead them to the dance floor.

The next morning everyone was in an oddly pleasant mood.

"Aubrey! Stop playing all that godamn heavy metal and get your pale ass out here!"

"Oh, why," he roared back angrily, "you wanna take a bite out of it you godamn Russian son of a-"


End file.
